It’s not there.
The day.
I draw the curtains and I see the sun in its fullness.
But I don’t see the day.
It’s been almost seven days and I can feel the pain in my chest and anxiety in my throat.
It’s a familiar feeling. One I have lived with for a lifetime.
It’s the feeling that comes when your child is unwell. And the diagnosis is dangling between guesses and despair.
There are only two things that actually help a parent in turmoil. One is faith and the other is temperament. A sense of optimism and a sense of humor kind of just haha the day. Nothing changes except it becomes easier to go through the day. I have found it also makes it easier for the other members of the family as one passes through such days. They love you and you love them. There is nothing we can do but love each other in all the times that are not ours.
These are moments strung together and they happen to be on your Time line. 
As a gesture of love we gave a  small bunch of flowers to the young one who is right now
in and out of the hospital.  Hoping to get to the end of this day with a smile which is what he gives me everyday when I begin the day.
How can I not smile back.  What have I done to deserve such enormous amount of love.
I am just lucky to be the mother of the most loving kids. I have seen my share of nasty kids in this lifetime. 


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