We are only Love.

Mornings are probably the roughest and toughest part of a family where there are no regular mornings. where you don’t stretch out on your bed and take a long look at the ceiling or the light filtering into your room.

i am sketching a penned down sketch of mornings that are not tied together in a cohesive harmony, but hang loosely around the corners of the room, in the corners waiting to jump at you. The morning air hangs heavily against the daylight that’s filtering through the curtains.. the hours before the daylight barges in are the best. I say my morning prayers ( not as regular as I strive to) I pray that the Universe brings calm and peace to the turmoil I have known to be life.

If the morning routine shifts even slightly, these are homes that can expect turmoil,horror and a lusty destruction of love you had built over the last day. We work one day a time, nay, we work moment to moment.

I whisper to the ground across which I walk as lightly as possible and say a silent prayer to my Higher Forces to help me start as softly,as lovingly as possible.

This morning was not good.. Ali has been asking for Barney videos to be downloaded onto his iPad and I have not been able to get across the banned YouTube in Pakistan but to no success. He has a speech and language therapy session at a place I pay a whole lot for.. and this will spoil it for him.. He is six this year and I do not know how to tell him YouTube is banned. Really.

And much is affected by this for a world which is linked through the internet.

I spent the entire week and finally got to download the videos (don’t ask how)

Its peaceful for now. I look at him and my heart is filled with a love I have had walking on the side pavement since Ashaarib was born.

I depend on order and routine to navigate the lives of my children and the terms and definitions do not help. The services are fragmented and schools don’t want to “invest” in us. We all dream for so much for our children the moment we know we are carrying them and yet so little is in our grasp because the world…well its scared of us. We are better in so much and more than anything else we are compassionate and we never,ever,ever want any harm for anyone. We are love. Only love.

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