*then the knocking was not I; it was You

*the door has no entrances and You stand at the other side of the door.

*if it has no entrance , then how is it a door that leads to You?

*is it I who knocks or You?

*I fear it will not open for me- and yet- You are there.. Knocking .. I am here ; knocking

*charred and brilliant; i am ablaze

*let me in before I ruin myself.

*there are no voices but I hear You saying my name.. whisper

*no one is here . I place my forehead at Your feet

*there are no answers.
I hear You reply.
there are no words
but You say my name

*when I close my eyes You knock at the door.
should I keep my eyes open to trick You.
I want to be sure You are here

*darkness throws me into Your realm.
I
fear
Ill
stumble

*there are no footprints
But
I can taste Your presence
it sits
on the air I breathe

*I await for you to open the door from Your side; knowing I need to give way to You to enter.
unsure I keep knocking

*I prattle with the day; longing for darkness to spread its blanket; it’s You I wait for

*this moment is what I dreamed of when I did not know You to be not a dream – merely

*will You leave when dawn breaks or hide in the light so I can’t see.

*can You open it even though its already open

*cyclic in nature; my words keep resounding Your knocking.
it’s pain I feel

*the presence of Your presence throws fear into the air.. it sticks to every breadth I take
I can’t move

*the knocking is deafening
but I
stopped
pounding?
who is this then?

*drenched in fear
I am not sure
If
this is Love

*this is our game tonight .
Knocking

knock
knock

knock
knock

*and You smile at my wretched body not understanding any of the Knocks.

*these are the hours

*I can’t move.
fearing You will leave if I did

*each night You wake me softly
only to hide behind the door

*ill break it down.
would You help me

*ill open it only if You don’t leave as soon as I do.

You smile
at my naive demands

*like a child I want to make You happy..

*I wait for the darkness to see You; and you want me to feel You in the daylight.

*exhausted
I will sleep with the pounding on the door.

*the reply is the same as the question. the question is the reply.
knocking
continues

*will You come again each night?
I can’t hear Your reply across this pounding door.

*’I never leave’ You reply

*the pounding has a rhythm. if I stop
it stops

*I ruined the rhythm tonight.
I need to learn to be silent in Your presence

*the Time when You knock
and I pound

*These are the hours

*say yes.. take my Life. it is Yours. But You already know this… why the pounding then?

*fragments lie scattered across my room…
I need to collect them
before dawn..
they are I

*its stopped

*and I lie here in my own ruin.. Triumphant

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